


Frog blood is thicker than water

by badboyharry



Category: One Direction
Genre: F/M, Kid Fic, frog harry, harry is a frog, harrys kids are 1/4 frog why jesus, his wife bites into the eye of a fly its kinda gross, kinda makes you wonder, louis is a rat, not really - Freeform, one use of the word cock, sorry about that, technically its bestiality in a way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-24
Updated: 2015-07-24
Packaged: 2018-04-10 22:31:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4410272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badboyharry/pseuds/badboyharry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She had always known who she fell in love with, who she married, who is the father of her kids. What made him laugh, what made him cry, who he cares about, his favorite foods, what are most important to him (his family and friends, including the existence of the movie "Love Actually") and his heart of gold, how he could never do wrong to a person no matter what they had done to him first. He was a sweet, gentle giant staggering at a height of 6'2, he had tattoos galore, bright green eyes and dimples. His face had been framed with his long curly hair, and he also had a little mole on his face that she enjoyed kissing, just below and right of his pink lips. </p><p>She had also known his deepest darkest secret.</p><p> </p><p>Well, it wasn't exactly deep, as any person with a working brainstem could figure it out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Frog blood is thicker than water

**Author's Note:**

> I'm using sinmi's account because theres no way im waiting 5 days to post this mess. follow lena @shadeassharry and whatevr sinmi's twitter is i FORGO T

She had always known. 

 

She had always known who she fell in love with, who she married, who is the father of her kids. What made him laugh, what made him cry, who he cares about, his favorite foods, what are most important to him (his family and friends, including the existence of the movie "Love Actually") and his heart of gold, how he could never do wrong to a person no matter what they had done to him first. He was a sweet, gentle giant staggering at a height of 6'2, he had tattoos galore, bright green eyes and dimples. His face had been framed with his long curly hair, and he also had a little mole on his face that she enjoyed kissing, just below and right of his pink lips. 

She had also known his deepest darkest secret.

 

Well, it wasn't exactly deep, as any person with a working brainstem could figure it out. How he always croaked when he orgasmed, how his balls had a light green tint. His eyes and how sometimes they'd be crosseyed when he wasnt focusing them. When she caught him walking around ass naked in a swamp the next town over. How long his tongue was, and how he'd try to lap at the flies on their dates (which he had tried to pass off as a tongue lengthening exercise). Most importantly, how he believed in Lena Dunham's idea of feminism, which no human would ever think of doing. Ever. 

EVER. 

That bitch is fucking crazy, man. 

When he had told her, she laughed. Laughed right in his little white ass face. He took it as offense, and frowned, tears welling up in his eyes, fear of rejection. "I know, baby," she said, grinning wide "I've always known". He hugged her, kissing her cheek. "Thank you for accepting me" he said, relieved that the love of his life accepted him for who he was. She giggled, letting herself be kissed all over her face, ignoring the stench of dead flies in his mouth, then she stopped. "Does this mean I committed bestiality?" She asked, dead serious. Harry frowned, kissing her head. 

"I dont even fucking know" 

 

Fastforward about 17 years, and you'll find the Styles family residing in Newport, RI. I don't know how many mixed kids you see in Newport, but whatever. She and Harry had 5 kids, Payton at age 15, Mason at age 12, Alivia and Brad at age 8, and Kennedy at age 4. Honestly, I've never heard such white New England names, but we wont get into details. We join the Styles clan in the dining room, where they are about to dine on a wonderful meal, thanks to harry's wonderful wife's skills. 

Skills such as catering services.

"Dinner looks great, babe" Harry smiled, his dimples showing. He had aged very well, contrary to twitter, tumblr, facebook, media, news, and everybody who walked past him. Maybe because all of his aging happened in his 20s. His hair had been greying delicately at the temples, and he has faint smile wrinkles on his cheeks. His eyes were still as bright as ever, just like his soul.

"Thank you, it's special" Harry's wife said, elongating special. Mason squinted. "Why do you always call his food special on Thursdays" he asks quietly "Is ours not special?" He fakefrowned, pushing his plate away. Alivia's eyes widened. "Are you trying to kill daddy?" she asked, tears welling in her eyes. Harry chuckles, rubbing Alivia's back. "No pumpkin, she's not. At least I hope not" he teased, glancing at her. His wife smiled, sitting down in her own chair. "If you're not trying to poison him," Mason said "Then how about you take a bite out of his food?". Harry and his wife both became quiet. Harrys eyes went wide, and he rubbed his thigh. "Erm" he said quietly, "S-She doesn't have to.." he picked up his fork, getting ready to awkwardly dig into his meal of lasagna, the meat being replaced with a very special substance. Payton giggled. "Is there something inappropiate in the food, dad?" she joked "Like an aphrodisiac?". "I..I just" His body felt cold, as if his whole world was crumbling. "Hungry" Kennedy babbled, kicking her feet in the chair. "I am too, lets eat.." his wife tried, cutting her lasagna. "C'mon mom, just one bite of his" Mason cheered. "One bite, one bite, one bite!" the whole table (except her and harry, of course) encouraged.

 

"You guys, it's HIS food. If I was poisoning him, i'd tell you..." She grinned nervously, taking a bite out of her food. "Mm mmm" Alivia disagreed, sipping her lemonade. "She's right, no you wouldn't. Nobody would." Mason agreed, glancing at his father's food "Just one bite!". Harry's wife nodded, getting up and cutting a piece of Harry's food. She caught the apologetic glance of her husband's emerald doe eyes, and felt the "I'm so sorry" arm on her waist. She slowly stuck the piece in her mouth, chewing carefully, looking around at all the eyes on her, Harry's sticking to her sight the most. She accidentally chomps on the eyeball of a fly, the juice oozing out of the open wound. She quickly swallowed, wiping her mouth, tasting the mix of the mashed flies, cheese and tomato sauce in her mouth. She grinned, barely hiding her disgust. Harry exhaled slowly. This time it had been too close. They'd had numerous close calls, but this one was way too close. The kids nodded in acceptance, Mason hesitant, but coming around nonetheless. Harry mouthed a "Thank you so much" as his wife nodded and smiled, her face still wretched after the disgusting bite. "Now we know that she's NOT trying to kill him," Payton started "Just that she dislikes her own cooking. It's alright mom. You're a good cook to me" she smiled geniunely. Kennedy had already been halfway done with her real mac and cheese, not that disgusting packed fake kraft shit that people overhype, but REAL natural cheese. 

 

Harry's wife smiled in gratitude. She cut her lasagna, looking at it and feeling nauseous. "What do you mean? Her cooking's great. She knows that, right mom?" Mason asked. She nodded, getting up from the table, rushing into the bathroom where she had immediately began to vomit irradically. Harry felt guilty, truly terrible, knowing his wife had suffered to keep his secret, from his own children. "Told you" Payton mumbled, chewing on her food. Harry ribbited, covering it by calling it a burp. "'Scuse me," he said, wiping his mouth. His wife soon came back, sitting down, pale and lightheaded. "Dinner was great mommy" Brad got up, hugging her. "Yeah!" Alivia said, hugging her other side. "It was really good.." Mason agreed. He squinted his eyes. "Wait...if dad's food made YOU sick, why doesn't it make HIM sick?". Harry rubbed his temples. "...It's vegan?" he tried. Mason was quiet, then nodded. "Makes sense" he got up, putting his dish in the sink. "You should go vegan too, mom!" Payton suggested. Harry's wife laughed, walking upstairs and not coming back down. "Or not....wow" she muttered, putting her dish in the sink as well, walking upstairs to her room. 

 

Mason shook his head. "Wait since when were YOU vegan?" He asked suddenly. Harry got up, sick of all the questions coming out of this dude's mouth. "WELL," he started, looking at the twins standing beside him "It's time for you two to hit the hay!" He said, picking them both up and carrying them both to their individual rooms". "Daddy we're too OLD to be carried!" Brad protested. Alivia just giggled, letting herself be carried up to her room. Mason stared at his father as he left him in the dining room. "Why is he so fucking weird?" he mumbled. 

 

He heard a rustling noise, coming from outside. He looked outside, out onto the pool and tennis court fields. Nothing. He walked into the living room, looking out and meeting eye contact with a 5'9 male with blue eyes and golden brown hair. "RAT!" He cried. The rat leaped into his house, scampering around. "MOM! DAD! ITS BACK!" His mom and dad came down in a hurry, with a broom and soap in their hands. His mom began to whap the rat with the broom, to no avail. "I got this, baby" Harry mumbled, throwing bars of soap at the rat, causing him to shriek and leap back outside, into the New England night. "God damn rats" he muttered, turning the laser security on, grinning when he hears a loud sizzle and the last squeak of that very rat. "G'night" he says, walking back upstairs to fuck his wife with his froggy cock.


End file.
